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Jack Urban's avatar

Your insights are so true about friends. We become vulnerable and often pour in a friendship bank account in love and respect, sharing their ups and downs, building with encouragement and kind motives. Alas, the time sometimes comes when we need to withdraw from the friend account, but they cannot give back. This leaves us pulled down and drowning in the jaws of a person killing carnivore; I love your metaphors.

Still, there is something intangible about friendship that I don't understand, but I know that it's worth it to try to keep them alive.

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Thalia Toha's avatar

Jack, You’re absolutely right. And perhaps the pursuit of understanding the entirety of a friendship is what makes it worthwhile. Hope you’re well this week, Jack? 🙏

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Jack Urban's avatar

I’m fighting the good fight and trying my best to understand the mysteries. I hope you are well. 🙏

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Thalia Toha's avatar

Let’s keep fighting.

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Miguel Clark Mallet's avatar

Friends whose only desire is to have *you* listen to *them* aren't friends. At best hey are acquaintances; at worst, they are your clients--people who are there for you to serve, whose needs they present for you to fulfill. Except that real clients actually pay you, so in this case there isn't even financial reciprocity. I have been there, and I have stopped doing that.

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Thalia Toha's avatar

There’s definitely wisdom here, Miguel.

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Alexandra McKay's avatar

Reading this at a time when I’m going through something very similar - thank you for sharing.

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Jeanine Kitchel's avatar

Incredible post, Thalia. The message reminded me of Patrick Muindi's post from Everyday Living yesterday (Sept 4) on Life is Rejection. It sounds awful but it's really amazing, here's a quote, "Life is mostly rejection. Nearly 90% of what you’ll ever want will reject you, and you will reject an equal number as well. The key lies in finding a home in the 10% that will say yes to you." It reminded me a bit of your post, b/c you too mention 'finding home.' Loved your post!

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Thalia Toha's avatar

10% is a great goal, Jeanine- Thanks for sharing this quote.

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Jeanine Kitchel's avatar

Very welcome. The entire post is very insightful. He always writes pertinent and introspective pieces, but imho, yesterday's was one of his best. A wake-up call to reality more or less.

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Joe Olson's avatar

I think about Tilikum and Tokitae and Corky and Morgan and all the other captive killer whales constantly. I can only imagine how they view their one sided friendships. You should come to the Pacific Northwest and see orcas in the wild sometime.

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Thalia Toha's avatar

This sounds like my kind of sight. When is the best time of the year to see them in the PNW, Joe?

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Isha Drew's avatar

Many years ago I saw them twice in the summer months.

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Jane Heerema-Anhold's avatar

All true and beautifully brought together! Thank you Thalia.

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Thalia Toha's avatar

Glad you liked it, Jane. Good to have you here.

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Theresa Goodrich's avatar

That is powerful.

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Thalia Toha's avatar

Thank you, Theresa.

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Jeff Cook-Coyle's avatar

Huh.

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Thaissa Lara's avatar

Oh my goodness, Thalia! This is magnificent. I truly mean it. xx

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Thalia Toha's avatar

Thank you, Thaissa. Glad you liked it. How are things in Brazil these days for you? 🙏

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Isha Drew's avatar

So true, so true and as I grow older some apparent friendships of many years just dwindle and die for reasons such as you describe, just when one cannot afford to lose friends but also need to if they are not nourishing.

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